The new iPhone (3G) will be released this friday, July 11th.

Glory to all Appleists.

Pussy can’t code, but they can help.
Like if you haven’t gotten laid in 6 years, having a pussy at home might solve your problem.
Always good to have a “backup” plan in case your date doesn’t go well.

Okay, that wasn’t fair.

Not just homos buy iPhones. I do have other non homo friends that bought an iPhone.

So expanding my list: iPhone users are either homos, lesbos, metrosexuals or manginas.

Why do you ask?
Who else but these elite select group of people would spend HOURS in line to buy a fucking phone?
You’re going to argue that people also stand hours in line to watch a movie or to buy a video game (GTA IV).

And you’re right… People do that… But guess what? THEY’RE ALSO HOMOS!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not going to post every political endorsement for Obama, but this interview with Colbert was quite funny

So, it’s my birthday today…

This is my tentative schedule for this special day:

6:00 pm - leave work early and watch the Lakers beat San Antonio
7:30 pm - special dinner (mini bbq)
8:30 pm - play with my kids
9:30 pm - put younger kid to bed
10:30 pm - put older kid to bed
10:45 pm - birthday sex
10:47 pm - end of birthday sex
10:50 pm - play video game
11:30 pm - sleep

When I first read the title, I thought: “Oh boy… another pagan/atheist teacher was fired by some idiotic Christian School principal”

But surprise, surprise.
This wizard, wasn’t teaching pagan teachings, wiccan potions or Harry Potter stories.
He simply did a 30 second magic trick where a tooth pick disappeared.

This is just another example of our fine education system.

I do have friends in Florida, but for the most part, I really wish we would just sell Florida to Cuba and cash out.
All the old people and rednecks there shouldn’t be allowed to vote or even talk.

I just learned that my co worker’s wife reads my blog.

My blog demographic is not really what I was targeting as my audience. My readers consist of 100% women: my wife and my co worker’s wife.

Maybe I should change and start blogging about a different animal to make my readers happier. Cocks instead of pussies?

Anyways, thanks Bessy for reading my posts. I’m glad I broke the 1 reader milestone.

A quick annecdote (true story).

I have two co workers with small kids: a nice christian and an angry atheist. Since it’s Easter this Sunday, I bought 2 big chocolate eggs for their kids.

Not that I believe in that Easter crap - Pastafarians don’t celebrate false gods.

My co workers were supposed to take the eggs home and give them to their kids. The kids would then unwrap it on Sunday.

But one of my co workers couldn’t resist and decided to jack his kids’ chocolate egg. He snuck out of the office and ate the egg.

Guess which of the co worker was it: - the nice christian.

Don’t know about you, but there’s 2 things I wouldn’t trust anyone with: women and money.
The rest I would trust giving to an atheist, but never to a christian.

Since this blog is about cats, I thought I would write about the different pussies out there.

Black Cat

I’m going to start with one of my favorite: black pussy. Black pussies are known for giving bad luck. That’s just bullshit.

Originally in Britain and Europe, a black cat crossing one’s path was (and still is) considered good luck; however they were also seen by the church as associated with witches.

You know the Church. They think all pussies are evil. Those fucking wackadoos….. They’re responsible for all this bullshit and prejudice regarding black pussies.

Personally, I think black cats are sexy creatures. They are also known for having attitude, but I think that’s part of their charm.

Asian Cat

They are wild cats. I don’t know why, but for some reason white guys love Asian Pussies. Some guys at work have them. One (the Lord of the Rings geek) even imported his through a website.

Many indigenous people believe this cat to be fierce, but in captivity it has been known to be very docile and tranquil.

I guess I’ll have to ask my friends whether this is true or not.

The Asian Golden Cat has been reported to hunt in pairs when pursuing larger animals

This is quite noticeable in the Philipines and Vietnam. They’re always in packs and always hunting, and for some reason, their favorite prey seems to be on American white guys.

Comparing to other pussies, asian pussies are quite high maintenance. But this friend of mine explained me that only the pussies born in the US are high maintenance. If it was born and raised for a few years in Asia, then it won’t be as high maintenance. I guess that’s why he imported one.

I love asian pussies. Unlike other pussies, asian cats are generally smaller and skinnier. They seem to be quite emotional, so you have to treat them more gently (you can’t slap them around like you do with other pussies), but that doesn’t mean those asian pussies are fragile. They sure can do a lot of work if you put them to.

White Cat

Blue-eyed cats with white fur have a higher incidence of genetic deafness.

I had no clue!!! But it makes total sense. You always hear guys complaining about how dumb their white pussies with blue eyes are. How unfair! Now we know that they ain’t dumb. They’re just deaf and that’s probably why they have a real hard time understanding even the simple things.

Persian Cat

Another one of my favorites. There’s a lot of them in Beverly Hills, but I just can’t afford them. They’re for guys that make serious dough.

Great cat for shows. If you got one, you should be showing your fine Persian Pussy off to your friends. I know that if I had one of these Persian Pussies, I’d be strolling up and down with her on my side.

Because their fur is too long and, dense for them to maintain themselves, Persian cats need regular grooming.

I’ve never had a Persian pussy (too expensive), so I’m going to have to take Wikipedia’s word on it. I generally like well trimmed pussies, but I guess some pussies could be beautiful with their natural long and dense fur.

Plus I’ve heard that Persian Pussies are really high maintenance, even more than Asian pussies. They probably need a lot of attention with all that fur.

I’d like to try a Persian Pussy someday to see how they’re like, but I don’t think I’d like to own one. Sounds like too much of a headache.

There are other pussies out there. Gray ones, mixed ones, brown ones, spotted ones. But I don’t like to post shit on my blog without reference. So as soon as I find credible reference like Wikipedia (like I did for the pussies above), I’ll post about the other types of pussies.