There are a lot of sucky jobs out there, like:

• working in a medical lab collecting urine the whole day
• working as a housekeeper in a nude resort
• working in a morgue in the graveyard shift
• working as a customer service rep for a sucky product

Or these 10 according to ABC News:

• Whale-Feces Researcher
• Forensic Entomologist
• Gravity Research Subject
• Microsoft Security Grunt
• Coursework Carcass Preparer
• Garbologist
• Elephant Vasectomist
• Oceanographer
• Hazmat Driver

But I think the worst job ever, hands down, is being that undercover cop that arrested Senator Craig recently in a public bathroom. I had originally thought that the cop was there simply taking a dump when Senator Craig tried to dry hump him (allegedly), but a friend of mine told me that it wasn’t an accident. The cop was there undercover arresting gay pervs in public restrooms.

How sucky is that job? Spending your whole day in a bathroom stall in a public restroom waiting for some homo to play footsies with you?

Fucking shit! There’s a gay bathroom code?

“At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area,” the report states.

Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times, and Karsnia noted in his report that “I could … see Craig had a gold ring on his ring finger as his hand was on my side of the stall divider.”

Karsnia then held his police identification down by the floor so that Craig could see it.

“With my left hand near the floor, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, ‘No!’ I again pointed towards the exit. Craig exited the stall with his roller bags without flushing the toilet. … Craig said he would not go. I told Craig that he was under arrest, he had to go, and that I didn’t want to make a scene. Craig then left the restroom.”

You want to know why this scared the living shit out of me? Cuz sometimes when I’m taking a dump, I tap my fucking foot!

This is fucked up! Gay people can’t just make up rules out of their asses! Especially if the code is something simple like TAPPING YOUR FUCKING FOOT WHILE TAKING A DUMP!

This will make me paranoid. Next time I’m taking a dump, I’ll be so self conscious about not tapping my foot that I won’t be able to dump anything.

What’s next? If you hear someone reading a newspaper in the stall next to you, will that might mean that he wants you to suck his dick while he’s reading the sports section?

Jeez… At least make these gay rules public so that straight guys can be more careful with their dumping in public restrooms.

My second son was born last month and I spent 2 weeks at home helping out.

Worst 2 weeks of my life.

I should have learned from the first one that this wasn’t going to be easy.

I guess I lucked out with my first one. My mother in law was around to help. Not that she really helped that much, since she was only around for 30 days, but at least I didn’t have to do the dishes. My first son was an angel. He was a good sleeper and we didn’t have problem feeding him. That’s probably why I wasn’t expecting the second to be so tough. That was foolish thinking.

Don’t take me wrong. I love my kids (the second one too), but I have to thank eBay for not allowing baby sales. Otherwise, I think I would be back to having 1 kid again by now.

I also had a countdown that I had to reset. I have it hidden at my computer (for some reason the wifey think it’s mean). It was down to 15 years and 11 months, but I had to reset it last month, bringing it now to 17 years and 11 months to go. For the idiots that still didn’t understand what the countdown was for, it’s a countdown till they reach 18 years, when I’ll be able to be free again.

But let me get back to the point of this post. Why do we keep making the same mistakes over and over? Why do people have 2, 3 or even 4 kids? Some wackadoos even have 5 or more. Some crazy fuckers out there. This also raises more questions:

• Why do we keep doing keg stands and chugging beers at our company bbqs year after year, even after promising not do this again in the previous year with that hangover the day after.
• Why do we keep doubling up our bets in Vegas even after having lost the last 10 hands?
• Why do we keep voting for Republicans (this will be a subject of a future post - requiring an IQ test to vote)?
• Why do “chicks” keep dating losers (another subject of a future post - the Romance Myth)?
• Why do we keep banging “tanks” even after we promise not to do it again after we banged the last “tank” and had our friends laugh at us for a week?

It’s because we have selective memory. We can’t remember (or don’t want to remember) the bad things. Only the good.

If in 9 out of our last 10 trips to Vegas we had lost $500 in each trip, but had won $2k in just one of those trips, that’s the trip we would remember and keep us going back. Selective Memory.

That’s why we will always bang “tanks”. Because we always forget the shit our friends give us for doing it and only remember the “good” part (ugly broads will do anything for you in bed).