Last weekend I finally watched 300 and I loved it. Awesome flick!!! Great photography, great action, ancient military tactics, cheesy honor lines and sex scenes. Everything a geek would want in a movie.

I work with several geeks, one of them being a huge Lord of the Rings nerd and that’s what prompted this list.

So without further ado (aka bullshit), here are 8 reasons why 300 was much better than LOTR:

1. No midgets in the movie.

For some reason, midgets freak the hell out of me.
Whenever I run into one, I have to control myself to not stare at them.

2. No Vulcans in the movie.

Every scene with an Elf, I kept waiting for captain Kirk and Spock to show up.

3. The hot chicks didn’t have pointy years.

It felt less bestial lusting after the sexy drugged Oracle or the slutty Queen than to lust after those Elves.

Come one… Girl with cat years or barely legal drunk girl? Easy choice.

4. People actually die in the movie.

Unlike Lord of the Rings where a handful of people kill an army of Orcs and still live to tell the story.

5. There ain’t no fucking talking trees.

6. No gay love.

What the hell was up with Frodo and Sam? I couldn’t tell who was pitching and who was catching. Could as well have named the movie Brokeback Mordor.

And I’m glad I’m not the only one to think that way.

7. No sausage filling.

One hour out of each of the 3 movies was about hairy big footed midgets walking.

8. It’s not fucking 10 hours long.